- EN (English)
Fatwa ID: | 87720 |
Title: | Marrying someone who used to commit indecencies |
Category: | Family and Personal Affairs |
Scholar: | Dr. Hatem al-Haj |
Date: | 11/14/2012 |
Salaam u Alaikum.
I have a question that I need a bit of guidance on. I’m a student of medicine and I have reached the age that I should now get married. And, I'd prefer a girl who would be in the same field as I am, as it would make understanding easier. So, among my family’s friends (who my family just got to know recently), there is a girl who is also a student of medicine. Her family is very good, she is ma sha’ Allah a practicing Muslimah: wears hijab, prays 5 times, good character and everything, Alhamdulillah.
So, apparently she seems very perfect to me and my family as a life partner. The girl is okay with that, and her family is willing too, and everything is perfect, etc. But now, as we are only one step away from getting married (as my parents are in the final process of making a decision), the girl approaches me and tells me her story. A story that left me shocked, confused and paranoid. She told me that she did not always use to be like this. She was a really spoiled girl. She used to listen to music, not wear hijab, not pray, and indulged in all that our spoiled youth has messed themselves in. And the biggest thing was that she was in a haram relationship with a boy. And came very close to zina several times (just not committing the act itself), over a period of around 4 years. But then she suddenly realizes through some inspiring Islamic lectures and personalities, that she's in a deep, deep mess. So then she performs a sincere taubah and turns back to God, and in a short while leaves everything (bad) for Allah.
And now here she is, a completely changed person: A practicing Muslimah, working for Islam, ma sha'Allah. She told me her story so that I would know everything beforehand, prior to making the big decision of marrying her.
And this is where I need some guidance. I’m totally confused and tense about this. I need to know, should I marry her? Taking in mind her past, specifically considering that she was in a haram sexual relationship with a guy, whereas I myself have never ever even come near touching a non-mahram girl [Alhamdulillah]. And if I should marry her, how should I forget all that past?
Please guide me on this, May Allah bless you. Jazak Allahu khair!
In the name of Allah, the Most Merciful, the Grantor of Mercy
All praise belongs to Allah, and may prayers and peace be upon Allah’s final Messenger.
As for the permissibility of marrying her, that is certainly permissible by consensus [of the scholars]. She didn’t commit illegal intercourse, and she repented from whatever she did. If you can overcome your feelings and overlook her past, then you marry her. If you fear that you won’t be able to do that, you should refrain from marriage so as to not do yourself or her injustice.
Allah knows best.
Related fatawa: 86841, 87605